Bdsm power play

Added: Ame Gillian - Date: 20.07.2021 21:34 - Views: 44061 - Clicks: 4361

Posted July 22, Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. Trigger Warning: This post references trauma and sexual assault. This weekend I was taken with force. Forcibly and powerfully taken by a man I love and trust completely.

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With my full consent. It unexpectedly echoed back 35 years ago to when I was 15 years old and taken by a man against my will. It was a stunning and sudden full circle — both moments happened when I was discovering myself in new ways, learning or relearning who I am in the world, in relationship, in myself as a woman, as a sexual being.

Discovering who I am and what I want and how to become the biggest, best version of myself, including how to do it in intimate relationship. That single detail — consent — made the difference between an encounter that caused trauma and one that healed it. Power exists. In every relationship, in every moment. In some relationships it is more obvious: For example, boss and employee. Parent and dependent. Police officer and citizen. In other words, bdsm power play dynamics of power exist in every relationship on multiple levels.

The question is not if it exists, the questions are: Are we conscious of it or not? Do we explore it or not? Do we abuse it or not? When we are conscious of it, it has the potential to heal. Depending on how the question is asked, s range from 2 percent Juliet Richters et al, to 62 percent Christian Joyal et al, of individuals who report engaging in some sort of BDSM-related fantasies and behaviors.

What the little research that has been done shows is that most BDSM practitioners suffer from lower rates of some mental disorders than their counterparts, and positive attributes and personality traits. That said, what does BDSM do for its practitioners?

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Brad Sagarin, Ph. Interestingly, they found that both participants reported increases in relationship closeness and decreases in psychological stress from before to after their scenes. Additionally, they discovered that both participants experience different types of altered states of consciousness that are highly pleasurable. In her essay for HelloGiggles, S. Nicole Lane wrote about how BDSM has become an essential part of her healing process from her sexual assault — a means to reclaim her bodily autonomy, rebuild trust, and treat her PTSD in a controlled environment.

This is not to say that everyone engaging in BDSM does so for healthy reasons or experiences a positive outcome. That said, it is a practice that might give us access to a way to explore power dynamics in a relationship — to play with choice, surrender, power, and empowerment. And it might just be a way to explore avenues of healing for people who have had their power stripped from them in violent ways.

Whether we engage in it or not, it seems there is something in it we may all be able to learn from. Samantha Smithstein, Psy. She works with couples and individuals, specializing in intimacy, sexuality, and self-realization. Samantha Smithstein Psy. What The Wild Things Are.

About bdsm power play Author. Online: Private Practice Website. Read Next. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Personality Passive Aggression Personality Shyness.

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Family Life Child Development Parenting. View Help Index. Do I Need Help? Back Magazine. July Who Is the True You? Back Today. Essential Re.

Bdsm power play

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The power of play: The potentials and pitfalls in healing narratives of BDSM