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In a relationship or life jam? Send your questions to: AskMindaHoney leoweekly. I found your response to my last question to be really helpful, so thank you! And thank you for considering my next question, which I suppose is a sort of continuation of that first one.

So, I am a fat woman — like Rubens would have painted the hell out of my ampleness — and I have had a of really sad and disheartening experiences with dating: crushes on friends that are not reciprocated, being generally ignored or else fetishized in ways that make me feel like a walking kink and not a real woman who wants to feel special and cherished in her own right. I have done a lot of work to feel stronger and more fat fetish dating in my body. And I feel like I have taken that power and self-respect back in every other area, except for dating. I have been utterly shut down there.

I can intellectually understand that there are so many fat people who have loving partners, and I find myself haunting the Facebook s of fat women who are in relationships — and, as of late, I am finally starting to think I could be in one, too. I would not want to go online at all like at alljust out of self-protection and a desire to see how things could unfold organically — but I am so unsure how to really project and believe that, how to convey confidence and attractiveness.

So, um, heeeeelp? So, I asked her if she could give you some guidance.

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She said yes! Read on for advice from Melissa:.

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Not just people who are settling or who have a fetish. In fact, those are few and far between. Do something that makes you stand out. I wear red lipstick. But for me, I know that when I put that on, I have to own it, and then I do. And that completely changes the way I present myself and people will always react to that. Be you. Recognize that someone not being attracted to you is not failure but instead just an answer, and now you get to move on.

Have fun with dating. Have standards. Enjoy each interaction for what they are. Try online. Put up full-length pictures. Feel and look cute. And meet as soon as possible.

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As a fat woman, I had some of my best dates from online dating. And not one guy ever said anything bad about my body. Have fun! You are embarking on a fun adventure; it can be murky at times but definitely worth it. Honestly the mindset thing is a huge deal. That brings in a lot of questioning and insecurity that is often imagined.

I hope this helps! Top Story. Read on for advice from Melissa: There are a few things I can draw from my own experience: 1. Publishing Louisville's arts and entertainment news, community-focused stories, and colorful local commentary since

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Ask Minda Honey: More Than a Fat Fetish — Advice for Dating While Fat